The Unicorns (week 3 of O Canada month: a continuing series)

The other day Dave and I were discussing our “Desert Island 25,” namely, if we were marooned on a desert isle, the 25 CDs we could not live without. The only problem – both of our lists are over 50 CDs long. So to make a long story shorter, we were looking through Dave’s picks, striving to find CDs that just didn’t make the cut. As we neared the bottom of the list I was surprised to see the Unicorns on the list. “You like the Unicorns that much?” I queried. “Oh yeah,” he responded, “I listen to that CD at least once a week.”

After giving it some thought, I had to agree with him. The Unicorns would have to find a place on my Desert Island 25 (50) as well. I tend to forget the Unicorns amidst the swell of “next big things” crowding my iTunes – after all, they were a short-lived, relatively obscure band that only put out a CD (and a half) and an EP. But the truth of the matter is that if the Unicorns were to come out with their opus Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? today, it would easily hold its place among The Vampire Weekend, The Dodos, and whatever Pitchfork declares to be the next big thing next week.

That’s no mean feat in a scene that seems to be picking up steam at an exponential rate. As Indie comes more and more to mean mainstream, as record companies desparatly look for the next group to buoy their sinking ship, the music scene today is more fickle than it's ever been (or at least it seems so to me). Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? came out in 2003. Look at some of the other bands that came out with CDs in 2003 (or there about). The Postal Service? New new wave has come and gone. The Arcade Fire? Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some Arcade Fire, but all you have to do is hear the swelling bombast of “No Cars Go” over an NFL commercial, or hear them imitated by Phantom Planet to know that the Arcade Fire has achieved an iconic status, but they may be victims of their own success.

Part of the Unicorns staying power may be in their limited output and brief life-span, but it also has to do with their music. The Unicorns play pop. Pure and simple, un-pretentious pop, with catchy hooks and toe-tapping choruses. Not to say that their music is for everyone – any band that sings about ghosts and unicorns over the strangled warble of what sounds like a broken Casio probably isn’t going to get top 40 radio play. But to those of us that know and love the Unicorns, they’re a refreshing break from the heavy solemnity that pervades so much music these days.

The Unicorns were formed in December 2000, in Montreal, of course, by Nick Diamond, Alden Ginger and J’aime Tambeur (all stage names). Their first CD, the self-released Unicorns Are People Too, came out in March 2003. Having only made 500 copies of their debut, the Unicorns went back to the studio to record some new songs and rework some old ones, and released Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? in November of 2003.

The album opens with perhaps the most sincere of their songs, “I Don’t Wanna Die,” in which Diamond tremulously recounts all the various ways in which he doesn’t want to go. The band quickly moves on to a trilogy of ghost songs. Although these songs are probably the catchiest on the CD, my personal favorites come later on, as the band loosens up and starts to spin out of control. “I Was Born (A Unicorn)” finds Diamond and Tambeur arguing back and forth about who writes the music. In “Tuff Luff” Diamond breaks out into a little hip-hop verse mid-song. “Inoculate the Innocuous” has one of my favorite intros of all time, but also some of the most head-scratching lyrics on the CD. “Somewhere in the asshole of my eye, there’s a muscle which relaxes when you cry,” Diamond breathes, sounding tired and worn-down, a far cry from the early energy of the Ghost trilogy and “Jellybones.” It’s almost relief when he declares “bananas help me unwind, watermelon makes it awesome” – I hope so, Nick, having an asshole in your eye sounds unpleasant. The album comes full circle on the short, tropical outro “Ready to Die.” “I’ve seen the world, kissed all the pretty girls, I’ve said my goodbyes and now I’m ready to die.” The Unicorns start the CD afraid of death, confront that fear via tales of ghosts and the sea, grow increasingly frenetic as the realization cements that death will come, and ultimately conclude that - you know what? - they’re ready.

That last song was prophetic. The band released the surprisingly mediocre EP The Unicorns: 2014 before imploding on tour. Their legacy lives on, however, in a fantastic CD and Diamond’s new band Islands, not to mention some great music videos. I don't know how to do the music-linky thing that Bart does, but I included a couple of videos that highlight the band's penchant for wearing pink.

I Was Born (A Unicorn)

Jellybones